e coo

Wow!  It's been 4 years since I've blogged.  To be honest, I'm glad I didn't and wish I had all in the same breath.  I'm glad I didn't because I am hoping that meant that I spent more time doing life than writing about it and I wish I had because I would remember more things that have happened.

You see, I am at a new place in my life... my oldest has flown the coop, #2 is about to graduate college and my baby girl is almost half done with her college years.  I spend more months out of the year with an empty nest than I do with a few birdies left.

I wish I had known these things:

• the last time I would breast feed my baby
• the last diaper I would change
• the last time I would get a babysitter
• the last time I would hold each of my girls in my lap
• the last time one of them would reach up for my hand to hold
• the last time I would read a bed time story
• the last time I would say "let's go potty before bed"
• the last time I would be able to kiss away a boo boo
• the last time the "suffrin rag" would be used
• the last time I would get a wet sloppy kiss from them
• the last time I would be their hero
• the last time I would be cool in their eyes
• the last time I would have all the answers
• the last time I would call them all to dinner
• the last time I would give them a ride somewhere or pick them up

the list could go on and on...

Sometime the Best Medicine is Furry

Molly had a rough morning filled with pain.  Bless her heart, she tried to endure it.  She knew she couldn't get out of the PICU unless they kept the pain manageable.  It wasn't manageable at all this morning. 


Before the pain got out of control a volunteer stopped by to see if she was interested in a therapy dog stopping in to see her...well, she was so happy!  




Before the dog got there I read Molly this blog entry from her big sister, Bailey.     

http://baileydfreemire93.blogspot.com/2012/01/first-time-i-have-had-to-let-god-play.html


Just hearing from her big sister was a help.


Then the pain started to get worse and the first med didn't work.  They called back for the stronger narcotic.  It had finally started to kick in when Chloe came by.  It was just what Molly needed.  Once again, God provided the right help in the right time - and this time it was a four legged furry cute Portuguese Water Dog named Chloe....


We are now out of the PICU and in a regular room.  My guess is that Lily is going to be great therapy for Molly.

Ready Freddy?

It's 5:00 am.  I am up with ease because the nurse has come in (for the umpteenth time) to check on my precious girl.  She is holding her own, trusting God and standing on His promises.  She is an amazing young woman.

We know that the power of prayer has kept us calm, guided the hands of the surgeon and sustained us.  We are overwhelmed by the number of friends and family who have comments on Facebook, texted us, called us, and especially prayed for us.  I can tell you that God has answered all of our prayers.  To HIM be the glory!

The staff at Lutheran General has taken good physical care of our family - especially Molly.  She is resting comfortably in the PICU and they have kept her pretty medicated to keep the pain at bay.  When she is awake I read her the comments from my phone and computer.  She is blown away by the outpouring of love.  She smiles as I read them, makes comments, laughs at some...then reaches or asks for her phone to try to text back or comment on Facebook....she is NOT responsible for anything she is saying under the influence of the heavy narcotics...lol.

She understandably is afraid to move her neck, lay on her back, lift her head.  Her muscles are sore in the back of her neck where the 6" incision runs up and down over her spinal cord and base of her skull.  The surgeon skillfully moved the muscles aside to work on the area needing surgery and the moving of those muscles around like that causes some of their own unique pain...not to mention the removing of the dural band at the base of the skull.  It is incredible how wonderful she looks over all after this.

Her spirits are up, she takes the pain with stride knowing it won't last forever and anticipates the day when the healing is crossed over to being on the better side of this process.   She looks forward to the day when she can fully know the results of the surgery and be headache free.  She has trusted God and turned to Him as her source of strength.

When she was a very little girl on the way to school or wherever, I would ask her, "Ready Freddy?"  she would respond with "ready Teddy."  I would say "Ready Eddy?"  and she would say "Ready Spaghetti"....this would go on and on until we exhausted all words that rhymed.  Heading into surgery we were both more than READY FREDDY.  Both calm and excited for what was going to lay ahead for her, she is READY SPAGHETTI!

Just Brain Surgery....

For years Molly has suffered with daily headaches and very frequent migraines.  For years we have sought answers...we have been to Allergists, Eye Doctors, Psychologists, Psychiatrists, Naprapaths, Acupuncturisst, Neurologists and finally a Neurosurgeon.  With a diagnosis of Chiari Malformation I and some answers!!

Through the years Molly has missed out on so much life due to the headaches and migraines.  There have been missed events, slumber parties, friends and family times.  She has suffered through headaches while trying to learn at school, play an instrument, taking dance and tumbling, and be a "normal" kid. When most kids age 8, 9 and 10 were outside playing, riding bikes and climbing trees, she was laying on the couch with a "sufferin' rag" (cold, wet washcloth) on her forehead and eyes.

She has been in pain so often that it has been a way of life for her.  Yet still she kept a pretty positive outlook on life.  I remember telling her that I would not stop looking for answers and a doctor that could help and her response after about 5 years was "don't worry about it mom, this is just how God made me.  Maybe I am supposed to be like this all my life".  I wasn't convinced.  I was sure that God had things He wanted her to learn through this, but that there were answers out there.  I kept at it.  God lead us to this moment in time.   This moment of hope, answers and relief.  It won't come without it's own price to pay, though.  Recovery will be a hard road, but the success rate is high for this kind of surgery.

Even while suffering with Chicken Pox she still wanted to "Serve Tea"!

We'll keep you posted on her journey, thanking God each step of the way for provision and care.

Just exactly how Molly faces scary and hard times!!  She just goes for it!

but when she smiles, she lights up the room!

You can see in her eyes here that she isn't feeling well....

Always ready for adventure and giving the thumbs up....just like today!

"You Got This MOM!"

"You Got This MOM!"  Those were the words I heard from my youngest daughter, Molly, as I was exhausted from the unseasonable heat in Chicago Sunday at the Shamrock Shuffle.

She will never know just how much that meant to me or how much it encouraged me!

She believed in me...

I had done the training...I had put in the miles...I had put in the time...

For some reason I was doubting myself.  I needed someone to believe in me, only I didn't know that until I heard her voice say those words to me from behind me. 

Molly ran with me the entire way...either a few steps behind me or a few steps ahead of me to help pick up my pace.  Continually looking over her shoulder to find me.  It was of great encouragement and comfort to know she was there.

When you run, the temperature feels 20 degrees warmer than it actually is after about 20 minutes.  It was about 73 degrees when we started the 8K (about 5 miles)...that translates to about 93 degrees.  It was roughly 88 when we finished...about 108!!!  I was HOT!  I was tired...and on top of that my injured knee was killing me!!  Only I was NOT about to let that stop me.  Especially after I heard my little girl say, "you got this, MOM!".  I had to do it now.  I ran the entire way.  No walking!  NO REGRETS! Thank you, Molly!  I learn so much from you each day.  This day was no exception.

John "the Penguin" Bingham has been a great resource.  My Marathon runner friend, Linda Anderson, recommended his articles (even sent me one before my first 5K) and one of his books.  It is his quote that reminds me of how far I have come.  "The miracle is not that I finished.  The miracle is that I had the courage to start!".

Recently I saw this video.  It brought tears to my eyes.  I am an Olympic fanatic.  I love the competition, I love the spirit, I love the stories, I love the success's.  I am inspired by the dedication, talent, commitment, courage and strength - in victory and defeat.  See if this doesn't move you, too.

Find the courage to start...

"you can do this."

Coming Soon!! I Promise!

New Post Coming Soon!!!

Taste of Heaven

There are some relationships in life that pass the test of time, distance and age. 

Kathy is one of those friends.

How wonderful it was to be able to share accomplishments together like

 doing something neither one of us thought we could do!



and even better to cheer her on and celebrate!

Spending time, making memories, sharing from the heart....transparency in the struggle, hurts, difficulties, pain and also the wonderful love and provision from our Father,

who's Grace comes in the form of friendships right when you need it...

That was this weekend for me!

Staying up late and talking, and talking and talking......

It was the icing on the cake when her kids threw their arms around me...

hugged me and cried when I left. 

 I miss them on a daily basis. 

They are in my heart just like their mommy. 

I miss you guys! 

Thank you Scott and Elliott - our two wonderful husbands that supported this girls' weekend and took care of things so we could connect.  You guys ROCK!